^The Bloggers Mix n Match^: Crap Mariner

By Luna Jubilee  //  News, SLife  //  4 Comments

Like many of my fellow bloggers, I entered the “SecondLife Bloggers 1st Mix n Match“. I was amazed to find I would be hosting none-other-than Crap Mariner. *waits for trumpet fanfare to finish*  Crap needs no introduction … so sit back, get comfy as this “Podcaster, Writer, Deranged Builder, Wind-up Wenchbot” takes control of the D-List:

“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates
“The unexamined Second Life is not worth living” -Every half-assed Philosophy student that has ever logged into Second Life

hitting the oil again by isfullofcrap

Hi there. Crap Mariner here.

You may have read my garbage on some blog or another, seen my metal face on a few WANTED posters, or heard me ramble on pointlessly over a podcast or two blah de blah blah blah and so on.

I’m like a bad cold. You just can’t shake me. Social media slut to the max.

In entering this Mix and Match SL Blogger thing, I received what could have been the ultimate softball pitch: Has SL helped me deal with RL issues.

In order to determine if SL has helped me deal with RL issues, I have to take inventory of my RL issues and then assess what progress I’ve made in resolving them, and then deciding which of these I have made progress on.

Let’s see…

Disconnection from family.
Disconnection from old friends.
Intolerance of pro-Jihadi, anti-Semitic scum masquerading as leftist human rights activists.
Intolerance of reverse-racism to the point of racism.
Grief over dead pets.
Career dead-end, general job skill stagnation.
Sick of television and the Bush Derangement Syndrome of the leftist-dominated media.
Health issues.
Rage over treatment by former employer.
Delusions of grandeur.
Failure to exploit comedic/writing talents for financial gain.

Okay, so I’m as neurotic as Woody Allen most days (without the “marrying your stepdaughter” issue, thank you very much). But if you can imagine it, I was a lot worse than this.

I know that I’ve made a lot of progress in the past two years on some things. Even if by accident, right? Going into SL to avoid dealing with everything for all this time, well, that’s just crazy, right?

Have I made a difference in others and myself?

Let’s see… hrm… thinking… no, not thtat… oh, this was a total disaster… wow, how could I forget something li-

Oh, wait! Got something – I’ve got an example: I don’t bite my fingernails anymore… I keep clippers on my keychain so they’re there when I need them, and I made a promise to Piper that I would never bite my fingernails again.

So, I may snip the fingernail groove edges with my teeth now and then, but I’ve gotten good about maintaining those with the file and the snippers (this Swiss Army Tool lacks a corkscrew, though).

It takes some serious discipline and training to turn back over thirty years of nailbiting, a habit formed from the earliest memories, and doing it without chemical pastes, gloves, hypnotism, or some large Estonian nurse named Gunther doling out lessons of pain and humiliation, well, that’s a freaking miracle.

The one on my keychain now is is my third Swiss Army Tool… the other two were lost during… you guessed it… trips to SLCC. I don’t fly much, so I keep forgetting that the Terminally Stupid Assholes of the TSA think I’m going to roll up my sleeves and dismantle the aircraft any faster than the poor maintenance procedures of that airline will… bye bye, keychain.

And maybe that’s something SL has helped me with… recognizing what tool you need for the job and having it handy and available for when you need it.

If I know that I bite my nails and want to stop, I have the nail clippers there. Same as when I want the dances available, so I have that HUDDLES loaded and ready to go. The AO is preset and ready for switches of walking styles. The inventory is organized by purpose, with outfit folders and general-use items easily deployed and attached.

Same with snapshots and textures… tagging and labeling those is simple enough when you do them on a schedule.

That spills over into RL, keeping things where they are supposed to be, cutting away the junk.

So why is it that I am clutching my left leg in agony, a muscle cramp hobbling me stride from a lack of potassium? Wasn’t I at the grocery store last night, within inches of bunches of succulent and pain-preventing bananas? Why did I not reach for them when I knew I would be in desperate need of them at some point?

Hey, I didn’t say I’d solved all my issues, okay? Nobody’s perfect, even those of us who choose to go in-world and seek the perfection of ourselves that is iron and copper.

Also SL has helped with my patience with many things, although that may just be a factor of me being on the verge of losing my right to say I’m thirty-something (unless you could “ten” as something, of course). There’s a lot of drama and a lot of horseshit flying around, and Lord knows I’ve hurled my share of it, but I’ve eased back and mellowed out somewhat.

No matter how fucking stupid you are, you’re not going to get the best of me, DO YOU HEAR THAT?

Not sweating the small stuff… having a laugh and a hoot when things go South of Sour, that’s the test of the soul. If something doesn’t really change the course of the river that is your life, laugh it off and go with the flow.

Glitches here and there, real or imaginary, it’s not the end of the world. (Okay, so you may limp for a few minutes while you work the pressure point and get the heating pad fired up… WHY DON’T THEY DELIVER BANANAS ON SUNDAY MORNINGS?)

I’ve played Russian Roulette with a .22 automatic and won. I’ve been smeared across the pavement by a motorcycle and come up laughing. I’ve had countless hammerblows to my hide, and I haven’t gone down for the count just yet.

I wrote up a list of every saving throw I’ve missed, every 1 that Fate has rolled and came to one conclusion: How in HELL am I still HERE?

Yeah, I’ve had my wild days in RL and SL, but sometimes you need to have your rough edges knocked off. Jackasses who test you, dingbats who don’t see the bigger picture, or folks that take your best efforts and run with them to the finish line while you’re choking in the dust.

Just shake it off and clear your cache – tomorrow’s another day, and another opportunity to look up to the sky and smile at the meteor streaking towards that schoolbus full of nuns.

In conclusion, to address the topic, how has SL helped me deal with the RL issue I have the worst: dealing with my problems head-on in a constructive manner?

It’s worked brilliantly. While I’m online, I’m achieving my goal of avoiding them all, shirking every responsibility that claws at the door. And it’s cheaper and less harmful that drugs, booze, subscription porn, or registering as a Democrat.

(Hey, it’s almost Grace O’Clock… everybody got their bunnyheads?)

Guest Author: Crap Mariner
Person who suggested this subject:  Peter Stindberg
I will be guest writing on: Torley Lives
My topic was suggested by: Teagan Blackthorn

4 Comments to “^The Bloggers Mix n Match^: Crap Mariner”

  • What can I say, Crap? Except for “Bravo!” – especially for the term Terminally Stupid Assholes for the TSA. ROFL

  • “You can’t spell ASSHOLE without AOL” is another acronym-based aphorism.

  • Hmm … good one! I’ve always liked BOHICA as well – “Bend Over, Here It Comes Again.” A good one to know with the new balance of power in the US, maybe?

    Great post, Crap … =) So many points I agree on – fed up with BDS, the reverse-racism, etc. … although not too sure on the bunnyheads (I think the Bunny Wars of Envision have scarred me – I just picture little bunnyheads on pike poles … scary.)

  • Why would someone SUBSCRIBE to porn.. when they could get it FREE??

    /me returns to reading blogs while the porn downloads whir in the background..

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